someone left a cake in the rain

[rewritethis]

[BANG. BANG.]

Dash! Dash!! Open up!

[Doorknocking this violent isn't an uncommon occurrence around this particular dorm, especially accompanied by that voice. What might be a bit more notable is that the sound actually seems to be coming from somewhere close to the floor. Yes, closer than usual. In fact, knocking probably isn't the right word...]

Comments

[elementofloyalty]

[She laughs again, putting a hoof on the arm to push it down again.] You can think I'm goofy all you like, Ed!

[rewritethis]

It's not just what I think! Dash, one of these days, you seriously need to get a little perspective...

[He stops and furrows his brow, like he just thought of something.]

[elementofloyalty]

[She flits into the air to sling a foreleg around his shoulders.]

Ed, ol' buddy, ol' pal, your perspective is just as skewed as mine! Just in a different way!

[rewritethis]

Maybe it is that. When did I ever claim it wasn't? [All the times when he wasn't suddenly in a remotely contemplative mood, that's when.] Doesn't mean I'm wrong about everything.

[elementofloyalty]

You told me I couldn't exist by the laws of physics the first time you ever spoke to me.

[She says this wryly and with a pretense at far greater weariness than she actually feels.]

We seem to be pretty nicely in-between Equestria and -- and wherever you come from, here. Face it, you need me to keep you from cramming this whole world into your own mindset!

[rewritethis]

[Hey, he's not the only person who's ever pointed out the physics thing!]

In between? Everything I've seen so far just tells me humans don't change much wherever you go.

[elementofloyalty]

Are you kidding? You guys are all crazy different. You've got more in common with ME than you did with some of your fellow humans!

[rewritethis]

Your pink friend doesn't count. [And what's she talking about? They're nothing alike!]

[elementofloyalty]

I wasn't counting her. [Pinkie Pie is still a pony in Dash's mind, even if she obstinately insists on not being one.]

[Be careful, Ed, you're getting dangerously close to a world in which Rainbow is more self-aware than you are.]

[rewritethis]

Right. [He still looks offended.] I'm not trying to say you could pair off everybody from both worlds and end up with a bunch of identical twins, anyway. [Though, given his experience with parallel worlds, he's not saying it's impossible either...] I just meant in general.

[elementofloyalty]

[Rainbow puts a hoof to her mouth, (poorly) hiding a smile.]

I can't imagine what you'd be like as a pony. Except you'd be furious about having a cutie mark just because of its name, wouldn't you?

[rewritethis]

They aren't optional? [He frowns. On the topic of incompatible worldviews, the mental image that just flashed through his head really isn't one that belongs anywhere in Equestria.] Well, anyway, I'm not one. So you don't need to.

[elementofloyalty]

Nope. Everypony gets one when they discover their special talent.

You'd have one super-early and it'd be a transmutation circle.

[She knows Ed well enough to have absolutely no doubt at all in this.]

[rewritethis]

[Yeah, but what transmutation circle? ...Wait, no, he's acting like he's not interested in this at all.

Also, he still has entirely the wrong mental image, but now it involves long lines and paperwork.]

Maybe you're right. That just sounds restrictive to me. [He pauses.] Although, actually, back where I'm from... [But then he shakes his head.] Nah, doesn't sound that similar.

[elementofloyalty]

Why? Ed, you might as well have one now, the way you love alchemy! It's doing what you love and loving what you do!

[She turns a joyous spiral around him just because she can.]

Back where you're from what?

[rewritethis]

I just know not everyone gets to be that lucky. And not everyone likes what they like for the same reasons, either.

[He looks down at the pegasus puppet one last time, flaps it at himself, then claps and flattens the whole thing back into its normal shape.]

Back where I'm from, some kinds of alchemist pick up titles based on what they're talented at too, is all. But I can't say I ever met anyone who was so proud of it they decided to stamp it on their ass. [Clothes and hands are totally different, okay.]

[elementofloyalty]

But that's not how it works. Cutie marks do work that way. When you discover your special talent, you get your cutie mark. I got mine when I performed my first Sonic Rainboom, and won a race.

[rewritethis]

But what about all the people who don't have a talent? What if you thought you had more than one, or you grew out of it, or you just couldn't do it any more, but you were stuck with the same expectations? You keep saying it in the singular, so I'm guessing you don't get any do-overs. [He's vaguely recalling this one weird thing the Mustang who was here mentioned to him a while back...] It's a little creepy when you think about it, to be honest. Even if you leave the ass-stamping part out.

[None of this is dispelling his overly bureaucratic mental image, by the way.]

[elementofloyalty]

EVERYpony has a talent, Ed. How could you not? I mean, let's face it, someday even I'll be too old to race my best, but I won't stop loving it. I'll probably become a flight instructor or something.

[rewritethis]

Could be that's one thing you guys don't have in common with humans. [He rubs the side of his neck.] See, I would've thought it'd be less special if everyone had one. I mean, that's the only real point of titles.

[elementofloyalty]

Not really. I mean, it's just saying what's already there. You're an alchemy fiend through and through no matter what's on your flank!

I was kind of surprised to hear humans don't have it, though. You guys always wear clothing, so I didn't realize it wasn't there!

[rewritethis]

[Oh, this again.]

Surprised there's usually more to a human than just one interest their whole life?

[elementofloyalty]

Now you're just being obstinate about not understanding it. Come on, Ed, you spend so much time not being stupid that your willful bouts of it have no credibility.

[rewritethis]

[He pulls a face. If he started taking any of this talk about talents seriously, he'd have to let himself be reminded of Dante, and who'd want that?]

If you somehow got the impression I'm only good for one thing, I'd be happy to prove you wrong.

[...Not that he hasn't been already, just a little - which might be why his posturing now doesn't sound quite as confident as his bragging just a minute ago.]

[elementofloyalty]

I'm starting to get the impression you're only good for being stubborn.

[She glares at him a moment longer, then relaxes.] Come on, don't be dumb about this. You've met Twilight. Her talent is magic, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have, say, a lot of book smarts when it comes to pretty much anything else than can be written down. Or my friend Applejack, her cutie mark is all about her family farm, but that doesn't stop her from being amazing at a bunch of different things. Your talent might be alchemy, but you're also good at science. And fighting. And being a good friend when you can get over your self-hatred every once in a while. And I guess you have a little fashion sense, but I don't know, I'm not Rarity.