someone left a cake in the rain

[rewritethis]

[BANG. BANG.]

Dash! Dash!! Open up!

[Doorknocking this violent isn't an uncommon occurrence around this particular dorm, especially accompanied by that voice. What might be a bit more notable is that the sound actually seems to be coming from somewhere close to the floor. Yes, closer than usual. In fact, knocking probably isn't the right word...]

Comments

[rewritethis]

[Sometimes?]

I'm telling you, it was fine before. I don't even know where you got the idea.

[Clap.]

...But thanks, I guess.

[Although that might be the least heartfelt-sounding expression of gratitude possible short of an explicit "screw you", he did hold off on it until the noise from his shelf transmutation was loud enough to mostly drown it out...]

[elementofloyalty]

It was a giant pile. I think it actually had visible stink lines.

[Like she said -- bad, bad, bad.]

[Rainbow half-drops, half-somersaults out of the air to land on all four hooves.] Oh hey! If I had something that required special washing care, could you just -- [She claps her hooves together] -- whisk the dirt out of it instead? Usually Rarity knows how to take care of those things, but she's not here...

[rewritethis]

[He looks over his shoulder at her.] ...You wear clothes now?

[elementofloyalty]

[She makes a little shrugging gesture.] It's a dress, for when the balls and stuff occur that I don't have to wear my uniform to.

[rewritethis]

[Excuse the slight case of nonplussed staring.]

Wait, you wear dresses? [He points.] You wear dresses?

[elementofloyalty]

]She blinks at him.]

...Yes? It's not as nice as the one Rarity made me for the Gala, but it's all right.

[rewritethis]

[what who how when why

With some difficulty, he manages to settle on one question at a time.]

Where the hell did you find one? Just lying around? [Like, apparently, people's cakes? Because he can kind of see them getting her a custom-made uniform even if it wasn't something he would've thought worth blowing money on, but...]

[elementofloyalty]

I had it made, Ed. And if I ever see Rarity again I am going to beg forgiveness for anything mean I EVER said to her. [Rainbow sighs, remembering the process of getting a decent dress with much more painful clarity than she wants to.]

[rewritethis]

Well, if you say so... but a dress? Why?

[He may be a little hung up on this point - although whether he's struggling more with the general concept of equines in clothes or with the idea of her specifically in dresses is a good question, really.]

[elementofloyalty]

What else would I wear to the ball?

[And Rainbow is puzzled by why HE'S puzzled.]

[rewritethis]

And that's normal for you guys? Really?

[Most importantly, has she been naked in front of him this entire time because uh.]

[elementofloyalty]

Sure, for fancy occasions and stuff. In Canterlot they wear them a lot more, but it's a pretty fancy place.

[They're optional, Ed!]

[rewritethis]

Uh... right.

[He scratches his head, inadvertently rubbing quite a lot of dust from the floor and elsewhere into his hair.]

Not that there's anything wrong with that. I just didn't think you were the type.

[...nobody said that.]

[elementofloyalty]

Well, the Gala turned out to be a bust, but I still really wanted to impress the Wonderbolts. Gotta look your best to do that!

[rewritethis]

You, in a dress... trying to impress people... [He sounds defeated.] That I'd like to see.

[Apparently in addition to being stuck on this one point, he's also got entirely the wrong idea.]

[elementofloyalty]

Well yeah, it'd be pretty tasteless to go to the Grand Galloping Gala without being properly dressed.

I don't have that dress here, though.

[rewritethis]

But you have a dress. Which you want to impress people with. You.

[It's entirely possible that at this point he's forgotten the original question.]

[elementofloyalty]

Why does that surprise you so much? I went to the Gala, I needed a dress, one of my best friends is the best fashion designer in Equestria. There's a certain chain of logic here.

[rewritethis]

[He would keep up this spluttering for a while longer, but somewhere in his mind, a dam just burst. Congratulations, Rainbow - you plus the magic of gender stereotyping have gone a long way towards achieving what a lifetime of tragedy and trauma couldn't quite do.]

Since when were you girly enough to wear a dress?

[elementofloyalty]

[Rainbow looks up at him, one eyebrow slowly lifting, the other slowly descending, as she processes this most confusing of questions.]

I am a girl, Ed.

[rewritethis]

[Since his natural response to any pointed eyebrow-raising was to get defensive anyway...] That's not what I said!

[elementofloyalty]

Well what am I SUPPOSED to wear, a tuxedo?!

[rewritethis]

That's... [He rallies again.] That's not what I said either, you idiot! I meant in general! Dresses! You!

[elementofloyalty]

What about it!? Just because I don't wear clothes NORMALLY doesn't mean I can't dress up! Why shouldn't I wear a dress?!

[She completely does not understand his objection.]

[rewritethis]

You tell me! You're the one who has the crazy obsession with trying to act cool all the time!

[He's only starting to shout again because she's shouting...]