shoutfire | don't put my hand next to you

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don't put my hand next to you

[There's really nothing special about the date or anything else today, as far as Ed is concerned - it's just a reasonably sunny afternoon after a spate of showers, which makes it as opportune a time as any to go pick up a few supplies.

And why is he knocking on this door before he heads off to do just that (and it is knocking, not hammering)? Well, it wasn't too far out of the way.

She's probably not even in, right? Probably off with her friends, doing... well, who knows what she might be doing on a day when even a sane person would have a legitimate excuse to randomly break into song, provided they were about five years old? Heh, she's hopeless.]

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I said your name 59 times once to get your attention when you were reading some book, and that's just the times I counted. I don't think you have a leg to --

[Rainbow immediately freezes in midair, as she realizes the inappropriateness of this metaphor.]

[Ed doesn't stop walking, but he does start laughing.]

[Rainbow giggles nervously as she runs a foreleg over her forehead in relief, then catches up with a couple of quick wingbeats.]

Anyway, you're WAY worse about getting sucked into books than I am.

And since when were we talking about me?

[Oh, look, they're pretty much out through the front gates.]

Since I brought you up!

[Sure, they're going really slow, but Ed isn't built for speed. Rainbow forgives him.]

[He swats at her head.] Well, don't start with that. I noticed when it stopped raining.

[It doesn't take too long before they're heading into the middle of town.]

- so we just blew up the steam tanks instead. He had it coming, anyway.

[But once they do, although his anecdote carries on uninterrupted, he slows down a little ways before they reach anywhere they could buy polish or a brush. At the moment they're about to go past a cafe.]

[For her part, Rainbow is engrossed in the story wholeheartedly. She doesn't really believe it happened QUITE the way Ed tells it, but she believes there's an underlying kernel of truth in it and that makes the story awesome.]

So then what? Did he go flying comically into the distance, or did he charge you down swearing vengeance and you had an epic battle?

[She punctuates the last two words with a swoop and a pair of punches thrown at midair.]

Well, he wasn't exactly happy!

[Ed, meanwhile, suspects she thinks he's pulling it all out of his ass - and why wouldn't she, given his approach to telling the truth about other things? - but if anything, he's underplaying it. After all, if he couldn't tell this story freely, he'd pick another one.]

I said we heard from the locals he was mining in there too, didn't I? Turned out that guy's love of big, crazy machines didn't stop at just a couple...

[He pauses, apparently just noticing the cafe.]

Oh, hold on a second. I'm gonna go get a drink.

So he sent MORE machines after you!?

[Rainbow cheerfully heads for the door, having failed to pick up the subtle implication that he wants to go in alone.]

He had time for one more, yeah. Imagine a drill taller than the Ragnarok. And him sitting pretty at the controls, right at the top.

[Darn. He tries to slip in before she does and temporarily lose himself in the crowd - on a nice day like this, the place is solidly packed, to be fair - but has no illusions about his probable success rate.] I won't be long, okay?

That's a big drill.

[Oh... he wants to go in without her?]

Oh. Okay. Uh, don't take too long?

[She settles by the door to wait.]

[Barely a couple of minutes later, he emerges from the crowd and walks back outside, clutching a large bottle of juice in one hand. He looks terribly pleased with himself, for some reason. He's also quietly snickering.

Hey, is there something else under his coat?]

Whatcha hiding there?

[She sidles on up to try to tug his coat aside, every bit as subtle as he's being.]

[He sidesteps, but only so he has room to pull a second bottle out with a flourish. And grin even wider.

Oddly enough, he's not taking much care to keep the evidence of his shoplifting out of sight through the window...]

[Rainbow doesn't even think for a second that he might have been swiping anything! Naive little pony that she is, she thinks he's just being weird.]

You're in a weird mood today.

[This tempers his grin somewhat.] What, you can't even be a little impressed? You saw how many people were watching in there.

Watching what?

[Nope, still not getting it.]

[He gives her a long look. Well, so much for not outright lying.]

I only paid for one of these. [He tucks the extraneous bottle back under the right side of his coat.] Anyway, let's go before they notice.

[Having said that, he still isn't hurrying.]

...What.

[This downright shocks Rainbow out of the air, and she lands next to him with a look of disbelieving surprise.]

[He turns, raising an eyebrow.] What what?

So you stole it?

[Can you hear the disapproval in her voice? It burns like ice.]

It's not like they're gonna miss it.

[He unscrews the cap of the first bottle and downs about a third of it in one go.]

Anyway, like I was saying...

[She comes to a halt, then reaches out to seize his coat with a hoof and pull him back over.]

Ed, you do realize that my best friend relies on her drink business to get her farm through the winter, right.

[Okay, he wasn't expecting her to grab him. It takes him a second to recover before he tugs his coat right back with an annoyed huff.]

Sheesh, and you think I can't take a joke.

[He sounds a bit closer to sulky than entirely sincere, though...]

...That was a joke?!

[Rainbow doesn't know whether to be embarrassed or furious, so the two emotions are waging a vigorous war for control!]

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