shoutfire | someone left a cake in the rain

[Okay, that actually gets him to turn around, incensed.]

Do yourself a favour and save it for your own damn floor! You seen it lately?! [He waves an arm animatedly at the parts of the walls and floor currently splattered with the remnants of cake, which is to say he waves at the walls and floor. Just don't point out whose fault that is...]

Well maybe instead of cleaning my window you could clean up the cake, since you can do it a lot faster and easier than I could!

[Does that count? It also ought to show just what kind of a mood she's in, that she would claim he can anything faster and easier!]

Now where do you keep your fabric softener!?

[Sadly, he's not going to pick up on her mood because he's too busy seething. This isn't fair, dammit... And he doesn't sound like that...]

Look, my clothes are fine! [A pile isn't a problem if it's not getting in the way of anything else, right?!] I know this is gonna be new to you, but try worrying about something that matters!

[Also, since she hasn't dragged him away from the window again yet: clap.]

Something that matters, huh? All right! I'll wash your clothes AND put away all those books you leave lying around! Because I know how much books MATTER to you!

[Oh, a CLAP is it!? Fine! Rainbow zooms off! By the time the dirt finishes removing itself from the window, he might be able to see her pushing a nice, fat, grey cloud across the sky. (How else would she wash his clothes, after all?)]

What?! That's not what I...!

[Nope, she's already gone. He takes his hands away from the glass the instant the reaction finishes, already prepared to chase after her, but before he turns away he happens to spot - oh, for crying out loud. Never mind sliding, he practically flings the window open to poke his head out of it.]

Dash, lay one damn hoof on those books and I'll stick 'em in your eye!

[She looks sidelong at him and shakes a hoof at him.]

Just for that I'm also going to dust! Keep it up, Ed, and we'll just SEE how many nice things I can do for you!

[Then she hauls off with that cloud at speed, face set in a look of absolutely determination.]

Like hell you will!!

[No time to waste, then. He slams the (very, very clean) window back down - it's a wonder it doesn't shatter - and high-tails it out of her room. Hey, there's always a minuscule chance that she'll get waylaid by a freak tornado or something and he'll have time to barricade the crap out of his place before she arrives. Nothing's impossible!]

[Nope! By the time he gets to his room, the stormcloud outside his window is already whirling and churning and raining soap, as thunder rumbles through it to agitate the clothing Rainbow has stuffed into it. And Rainbow herself, having come in through said window, is vigorously swiping dust off the top of the shelves with a rag.]

Ha ha! I'm DOING THINGS for you, Ed! [She raspberries him vigorously as she does demeaning maid work with vicious joy.]

[...It doesn't take too much to tip him over the edge under the best circumstances, that's true, but in this case it's probably the raincloud full of soap bubbles that managed it. All he can bring himself to do for a good long while is stand in the doorway and wordlessly gape.]

[You snooze, you... get chores done for you, Ed! As soon as the cloud stops rumbling, Rainbow leaves the now-clean shelves behind to go move that cloud above a second cloud. With a skilled kick, she wallops the laundry-cloud with her hooves, causing it to drop its load of sodden laundry into the next cloud.]

[Setting that one rumble-rinse the laundry, she swoops back in to start shelving her books, humming pleasantly all the while.]

[Her books?!

Anyway, putting the books away might be a little trickier than she'd anticipated; in front of the shelves, where the floor used to be, there's now a wide slab of stone and twisted metal sprouting tall enough to brush the ceiling (and, incidentally, shedding a fair amount of dirt onto the area she just cleaned).

In front of that, Ed draws himself up to his full, comparatively unimpressive height and points towards the door.]

OUT!

[Rainbow Dash looks at the stone and metal thing, then looks at the books she's holding.]

Now look at this mess! I guess I'll have to SWEEP AND MOP, too!

[She shoves the books onto convenient protuberances on that horrible cthonian barricade, then looks around for something to start sweeping.]

Gotta pay back the favor for cleaning my window, ya know! Equivalent exchange!

[Predictably, he bridles.] Screw that!

[And since he clearly hasn't made enough bad decisions today, or ever, the next one on the list involves trying to bodily tackle a pony. In a room which, possibly despite Rainbow's efforts, has furniture strewn around everywhere.]

[She... did not see that coming. Down she goes, as they crash into a chair which then tips over backwards, spilling them onto the ground in a tangle of limbs (five natural legs, one arm, two wings, and a couple of metal extras), feathers, fur, rainbow mane, golden braid, red coat, and flailing (almost certainly mutual).]

[Plenty of flailing! On this end, at least, it's purposeful - he's frantically pulling away, trying to disentangle his arms. ...Ignoring the fact that he's the one who threw himself at her in the first place.

As soon as both of his hands are free, even for an instant - clap!

Mind, the couple of seconds it takes for him to do that and squirm into a position where he can actually touch what's left of the floor are a couple of seconds he isn't completely focused on what she's doing.]

[That moment of slipped concentration is all it takes for her to stop flailing and pull off a real move -- to wit, flipping around him to wrap one foreleg around his neck in a choke hold. Not that she's actually choking him, just aggressively asserting her authority!]

[He's yanked backwards, letting out a strangled yelp of surprise (apparently that works both ways! Who knew?) - but not before the floor underneath both of them hisses and flares into life. In the blink of an eye, a series of sturdy iron bars erupt from the blue-white glow at their feet in a perfect circle around them, fast enough to puncture clean through the chair still lying forlornly off to Rainbow's side, stopping only when they hit the ceiling. A few dislodged flakes of plaster float down.

This was not quite the plan. And it's kind of cramped in here. There's barely enough space for him to twist round and shout at her properly... not that he could with a foreleg around his throat. He tries, though.]

The hell did you do that for?!

[~~Good thing it's him and not an average-sized human being, or this would actually be painful.~~]

[Trapped! Rainbow jerks back -- sorry Ed -- but just mashes against the bars of the prison! She whips her head around, looking for an exit --]

[But there isn't one, and here's Ed pinned up against her, still all tangled up.]

[The whole situation sinks in for one long, dark second... and then Rainbow begins to snicker, and then to giggle, and then to outright laugh.]

[He'd rub his neck if he could actually reach it. That kind of hurt. Jerk.]

What's so funny?!

[But never mind that; he's gone right back to trying to extricate himself. It's more of a challenge this time round, what with the lack of space.]

Pfft, come on, Ed, you gotta admit this is pretty funny! We got caged up while fighting over cleaning!

[The pressure on him reverses -- rather than pulling with her foreleg, she's leaning with her body, almost companionably. She's well aware they're not untangling themselves easily, the way this prison has boxed them in.]

[The extra weight isn't making it much easier for him to work his hands free...]

Yeah, and whose fault is that?

Both of ours.

[Still giggling, she loops her forelegs under his shoulders, then half-flaps, half-leans to help buy him some freedom.]

[He can't really contest that, but since he's in this kind of mood, he grumbles under his breath anyway.] You didn't even need to come in here...

[He claps and presses his hands to the nearest couple of bars. Considerably slower than they burst out, and with hardly a sound other than the crackling of the transmutation itself, the entire circle retracts smoothly into the floor.]

[She doesn't let go so easily -- instead, she pumps for altitude, then turns a backflip -- with him still in her grip, and her still laughing. She's strong, and her grip is firm -- she won't let him drop.]

I really wasn't trying to pull any pranks or anything. Just help you out when I saw you needed it. I'm sorry.

Ghh...!

[Sure about that? Because the moment she hoisted him up, and especially when she did that backflip, he went back to flailing pretty damn hard. Hard enough that he apparently didn't hear her just then...]

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