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BONE PARTY
[It's spring, and it's a beautiful day. The sun shines. Birds sing. Flowers bloom. It's not an atmosphere that meshes well with a dead body lying on a park bench, jacket hanging wide open and bones picked clean.
So it's fortunate that Sans is only asleep. Emphatically asleep, mind. Now and then, in between snores, he opens one eyesocket to check that any humans and monsters in the vicinity alike are aware of just how asleep he is. There are a few - mostly humans, several of them walking dogs, quite a few of them doing a double take as they pass the bench and walking away in a bit more of a hurry than when they approached.
Someone's still missing, though. Hmm. That comes to twenty-nine fake snores since he woke up for real. Under normal circumstances, it never takes his bro more than thirty...]
So it's fortunate that Sans is only asleep. Emphatically asleep, mind. Now and then, in between snores, he opens one eyesocket to check that any humans and monsters in the vicinity alike are aware of just how asleep he is. There are a few - mostly humans, several of them walking dogs, quite a few of them doing a double take as they pass the bench and walking away in a bit more of a hurry than when they approached.
Someone's still missing, though. Hmm. That comes to twenty-nine fake snores since he woke up for real. Under normal circumstances, it never takes his bro more than thirty...]
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Underneath, there is another banner:
And yet another one underneath:
The skeleton in charge himself is darting all over the place, splitting his attention between being a cool, gracious host for the three humans who were more curious than nervous, and between trying to get the other park goers to check his sweet pre-party out.
That's not to say he didn't notice his bro's fake sleep. He did. After that twenty-ninth snore, a tall shadow looms over Sans' bench. And just before he can get to number thirty:]
SANS!! Quit lazing around, I know you're awake! You're making a terrible impression on the humans!
[Yes, the sleeping skeleton is what would put off people from coming over. Not the other over-enthusiastic one who keeps offering them to brave his (ankle height) barb wire maze on their way to the tables.]
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Who, me? I didn't even touch them. ...Oh, hey, good job getting those banners up on your own.
1/2
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But that's besides the point! You DIDN'T touch them, and that's exactly the problem! How are we supposed to celebrate the new life we share, to bring monsters and humans closer together when the monster doesn't even keep his eyes open? The humans will think you're not taking this seriously!
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[Because none of them so far have had the nerve to loiter very close by, and that means while Papyrus is distracted he'll get to start his fake-snoring counter all over again.]
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[...
No, apparently not. But after much deliberation, he does let one of his feet slide off the side of the bench and dangle there. See, he's showing willing!]
Soon as one of them comes over here, anyway. Let me know, alright?
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[This is hopeless. His brother won't get up with yells alone, and every second Papyrus spends berating him is another second depriving everyone else around from his amazing hosting skills. Well, he'll just have find a way to solve both problems in one go. In fact, he's already found it!
The shadow over Sans shifts around as Papyrus waves a hand.]
You, human over there! Yes, with the nifty red sweater! I see you hold your phone up. I'm touched that you want to always carry a memory of this special day, but the presence of the great Papyrus can never be fully captured on film alone. Come here and join the party!
[He has another guest! Now Sans has to get up.]
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After that, he glances back toward Papyrus.]
... Don't you mean the pre-party? [It's on all of the extremely eyecatching, extremely capslocked banners.]
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[Papyrus cuts himself off, like he had a sudden revelation.]
Sans, I just had another brilliant idea! I will also throw an AFTER PARTY! Those are the coolest, right?
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Sans is unfazed.] Hey, there's an idea. Gives us time to change the writing on the decorations.
And the pre-after-party could just go before.
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Isn't a pre-after-party just normal party?
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So he grins, like normal.] Oh yeah. Good call. Then we can move the after-pre-party over, to save time.
[Since Papyrus has already given their newest guest an appropriate welcome, he settles back a bit more in his seat. He was already slouching, but as he was reminded a minute ago, he needs to go above and beyond the usual call of slackery on days like today.]
By the way... are the humans supposed to be wearing the spikes?
[One of them is. On their head.]
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[For a moment Papyrus just stares, jaw opening and closing at this glaring breach of protocol.]
NO!! That is not what you're supposed to do with spikes AT ALL –
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DONE, sorry
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[Indeed, the spike-wearer's nearby friend has just grabbed another of the traffic cones and is now gleefully absconding across the grass, in pursuit of... something. That's what Papyrus gets for inviting middle school age kids.]
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[He writes "AWSOME HOST" on another cone as he speaks, and puts it on his head.]
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On that note, though...]
Welp, nice work. Guess you won't need a hand with anything else. [So he'll quite happily close his eyesockets again.]
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[Creak, creak goes the bench. If Papyrus isn't careful, his spike might fall off. Naturally, this means Sans won't mention it.]