shoutfire | someone left a cake in the rain

[...she could've got out of the way!!

He looks as if he'd like to scream at her some more, but just for the time being, nothing tumbles out except a splutter.

Instead, grumpily, he shoves past her, trampling more fragments of damp cake into her floor as he heads in the direction of her window.]

[Rainbow Dash slaps a hoof to her face.]

Oh sweet Celestia, you're going to clean my window in the name of equivalent exchange, aren't you.

[If he sounds a little indistinct, that's because he has his back to her while he sizes up the window in question. It's not nearly as grimy as his was...]

Hey, if you didn't like it, guess what you should've done?!

[Presumably not what he's doing, which involves clapping. Followed by other noises.]

OH NO YOU DON'T!

[No soon does Ed make with the clapping then Rainbow dives at him to literally haul him backwards through brute wingpower!]

You're... not... cleaning... this... window!

[The moment he realises he's being yanked backwards is the exact moment he turns into a flailing mass of limbs and indignation.]

Oh, so suddenly you got a problem with other people doing it?!

No! Just you! [She's hauling back and up as hard as she can, grunting out the words between strained wingbeats.] It's stupid! You want to pay me back, do something nice for me sometime in the future! Pay me back some other way!

Like you'd recognise nice if it hit you in the...!

[The rest of the sentence disappears into a wheeze, coinciding with an extra-spirited attempt to wrench himself free.]

You know what's NOT nice?

[Well, for one, not nice is when he wrenches himself free and she, unencumbered by his weight and struggles, shoots upward suddenly, then bounces off the ceiling. She crashes to the ground in a sprawl of limbs, but doggedly picks her head up to look at him.]

NOT nice is when you do things because you feel obligated to. If you just do something because you feel you HAVE to, that's not friendship, that's just a chain of debt!

[She's hit a nerve again. He has a few of those, considering how many are missing.]

What if I just want to? Did you think about that?

[And yes, without even a momentary pause to laugh at her, he's already stomping back over to the window.]

All right! Fine! Then maybe I want to go -- to go --

[She springs to her feet, then into the air.]

To go do the laundry you've been letting pile up!

[Okay, that actually gets him to turn around, incensed.]

Do yourself a favour and save it for your own damn floor! You seen it lately?! [He waves an arm animatedly at the parts of the walls and floor currently splattered with the remnants of cake, which is to say he waves at the walls and floor. Just don't point out whose fault that is...]

Well maybe instead of cleaning my window you could clean up the cake, since you can do it a lot faster and easier than I could!

[Does that count? It also ought to show just what kind of a mood she's in, that she would claim he can anything faster and easier!]

Now where do you keep your fabric softener!?

[Sadly, he's not going to pick up on her mood because he's too busy seething. This isn't fair, dammit... And he doesn't sound like that...]

Look, my clothes are fine! [A pile isn't a problem if it's not getting in the way of anything else, right?!] I know this is gonna be new to you, but try worrying about something that matters!

[Also, since she hasn't dragged him away from the window again yet: clap.]

Something that matters, huh? All right! I'll wash your clothes AND put away all those books you leave lying around! Because I know how much books MATTER to you!

[Oh, a CLAP is it!? Fine! Rainbow zooms off! By the time the dirt finishes removing itself from the window, he might be able to see her pushing a nice, fat, grey cloud across the sky. (How else would she wash his clothes, after all?)]

What?! That's not what I...!

[Nope, she's already gone. He takes his hands away from the glass the instant the reaction finishes, already prepared to chase after her, but before he turns away he happens to spot - oh, for crying out loud. Never mind sliding, he practically flings the window open to poke his head out of it.]

Dash, lay one damn hoof on those books and I'll stick 'em in your eye!

[She looks sidelong at him and shakes a hoof at him.]

Just for that I'm also going to dust! Keep it up, Ed, and we'll just SEE how many nice things I can do for you!

[Then she hauls off with that cloud at speed, face set in a look of absolutely determination.]

Like hell you will!!

[No time to waste, then. He slams the (very, very clean) window back down - it's a wonder it doesn't shatter - and high-tails it out of her room. Hey, there's always a minuscule chance that she'll get waylaid by a freak tornado or something and he'll have time to barricade the crap out of his place before she arrives. Nothing's impossible!]

[Nope! By the time he gets to his room, the stormcloud outside his window is already whirling and churning and raining soap, as thunder rumbles through it to agitate the clothing Rainbow has stuffed into it. And Rainbow herself, having come in through said window, is vigorously swiping dust off the top of the shelves with a rag.]

Ha ha! I'm DOING THINGS for you, Ed! [She raspberries him vigorously as she does demeaning maid work with vicious joy.]

[...It doesn't take too much to tip him over the edge under the best circumstances, that's true, but in this case it's probably the raincloud full of soap bubbles that managed it. All he can bring himself to do for a good long while is stand in the doorway and wordlessly gape.]

[You snooze, you... get chores done for you, Ed! As soon as the cloud stops rumbling, Rainbow leaves the now-clean shelves behind to go move that cloud above a second cloud. With a skilled kick, she wallops the laundry-cloud with her hooves, causing it to drop its load of sodden laundry into the next cloud.]

[Setting that one rumble-rinse the laundry, she swoops back in to start shelving her books, humming pleasantly all the while.]

[Her books?!

Anyway, putting the books away might be a little trickier than she'd anticipated; in front of the shelves, where the floor used to be, there's now a wide slab of stone and twisted metal sprouting tall enough to brush the ceiling (and, incidentally, shedding a fair amount of dirt onto the area she just cleaned).

In front of that, Ed draws himself up to his full, comparatively unimpressive height and points towards the door.]

OUT!

[Rainbow Dash looks at the stone and metal thing, then looks at the books she's holding.]

Now look at this mess! I guess I'll have to SWEEP AND MOP, too!

[She shoves the books onto convenient protuberances on that horrible cthonian barricade, then looks around for something to start sweeping.]

Gotta pay back the favor for cleaning my window, ya know! Equivalent exchange!

[Predictably, he bridles.] Screw that!

[And since he clearly hasn't made enough bad decisions today, or ever, the next one on the list involves trying to bodily tackle a pony. In a room which, possibly despite Rainbow's efforts, has furniture strewn around everywhere.]

[She... did not see that coming. Down she goes, as they crash into a chair which then tips over backwards, spilling them onto the ground in a tangle of limbs (five natural legs, one arm, two wings, and a couple of metal extras), feathers, fur, rainbow mane, golden braid, red coat, and flailing (almost certainly mutual).]

[Plenty of flailing! On this end, at least, it's purposeful - he's frantically pulling away, trying to disentangle his arms. ...Ignoring the fact that he's the one who threw himself at her in the first place.

As soon as both of his hands are free, even for an instant - clap!

Mind, the couple of seconds it takes for him to do that and squirm into a position where he can actually touch what's left of the floor are a couple of seconds he isn't completely focused on what she's doing.]

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