someone left a cake in the rain

[rewritethis]

[BANG. BANG.]

Dash! Dash!! Open up!

[Doorknocking this violent isn't an uncommon occurrence around this particular dorm, especially accompanied by that voice. What might be a bit more notable is that the sound actually seems to be coming from somewhere close to the floor. Yes, closer than usual. In fact, knocking probably isn't the right word...]

Comments

[rewritethis]

Okay, but... [He rallies.] But how'd you know I wasn't gonna get around to it? Maybe I was just busy!

[elementofloyalty]

[She lifts herself up a little, pointedly staring down at him, then very deliberately raises her forelegs, claps her hooves together, then thrusts them at nothing. How busy does he have to be to not have time to do THAT?!]

[rewritethis]

[He's winding down only to the extent that he's rapidly running out of ways to spin this.

He spreads his arms.] You could've asked! That's all I'm saying!

[elementofloyalty]

[Except that he's only gotten HER cranked up more. Cranked up to an unusual level...]

Oh yeah, and we both know how that would go.

[She turns sideways and looks at nothing with as bright, wide-eyed and eager an expression as he's ever seen on her.]

"Hey Ed, can I do something nice for you?"

[She zooms around to take the position of the Ed she had been addressing a moment ago, scowling and waving her hooves vaguely as she rolls her eyes.]

"No, Rainbow, you'd do it through non-SCIENTIFIC means and blah blah alchemy and also I have a complex about people being my friend and doing things for me blah blah I'm super-independent also alchemy."

[rewritethis]

[Oh, she did not go there!

He's not tall enough to descend on her like the wrath of an angry agnostic god, but his expression compensates for an appreciable fraction of that as he lunges at her shoulders. Not that he has any idea what he'll do if by some minute chance he does manage to grab them; it's the principle of the thing. Specifically, the principle of... well, she knows.]

DAMMIT, THAT'S NOT WHAT I SOUND LIKE!!

[...he isn't contesting the content...]

[elementofloyalty]

[Sure, he can grab her! He can even haul her down! She's perfectly willing to ram her forehead into his and glare at him with the fury of a thousand angry suns.]

YES IT IS! Look how mad you are because I did something NICE FOR YOU WITHOUT ASKING!

[rewritethis]

[That... kind of hurt a bit, but he's far too thickheaded to so much as flinch away.]

Listen, I know how to clean a damn window!

[elementofloyalty]

I didn't SAY you didn't! I was doing it FOR you so you didn't HAVE to!

[rewritethis]

[He lets her shoulders go and steps back, but only so he has room to wave a metal pointer finger semi-threateningly in front of her eyes.] Yeah, well, you didn't have to! I said I would've gotten around to it!

[Actually, by this point, the only part he's still genuinely sore about is her impression... but she headbutted him, which clearly means it's on.]

[elementofloyalty]

I KNOW I DIDN'T HAVE TO! It's OKAY for people to do things for you out of the kindness of their heart sometimes!

[He'd grabbed her and hauled her around! He started it!]

[rewritethis]

[...she could've got out of the way!!

He looks as if he'd like to scream at her some more, but just for the time being, nothing tumbles out except a splutter.

Instead, grumpily, he shoves past her, trampling more fragments of damp cake into her floor as he heads in the direction of her window.]

[elementofloyalty]

[Rainbow Dash slaps a hoof to her face.]

Oh sweet Celestia, you're going to clean my window in the name of equivalent exchange, aren't you.

[rewritethis]

[If he sounds a little indistinct, that's because he has his back to her while he sizes up the window in question. It's not nearly as grimy as his was...]

Hey, if you didn't like it, guess what you should've done?!

[Presumably not what he's doing, which involves clapping. Followed by other noises.]

[elementofloyalty]

OH NO YOU DON'T!

[No soon does Ed make with the clapping then Rainbow dives at him to literally haul him backwards through brute wingpower!]

You're... not... cleaning... this... window!

[rewritethis]

[The moment he realises he's being yanked backwards is the exact moment he turns into a flailing mass of limbs and indignation.]

Oh, so suddenly you got a problem with other people doing it?!

[elementofloyalty]

No! Just you! [She's hauling back and up as hard as she can, grunting out the words between strained wingbeats.] It's stupid! You want to pay me back, do something nice for me sometime in the future! Pay me back some other way!

[rewritethis]

Like you'd recognise nice if it hit you in the...!

[The rest of the sentence disappears into a wheeze, coinciding with an extra-spirited attempt to wrench himself free.]

[elementofloyalty]

You know what's NOT nice?

[Well, for one, not nice is when he wrenches himself free and she, unencumbered by his weight and struggles, shoots upward suddenly, then bounces off the ceiling. She crashes to the ground in a sprawl of limbs, but doggedly picks her head up to look at him.]

NOT nice is when you do things because you feel obligated to. If you just do something because you feel you HAVE to, that's not friendship, that's just a chain of debt!

[rewritethis]

[She's hit a nerve again. He has a few of those, considering how many are missing.]

What if I just want to? Did you think about that?

[And yes, without even a momentary pause to laugh at her, he's already stomping back over to the window.]

[elementofloyalty]

All right! Fine! Then maybe I want to go -- to go --

[She springs to her feet, then into the air.]

To go do the laundry you've been letting pile up!

[rewritethis]

[Okay, that actually gets him to turn around, incensed.]

Do yourself a favour and save it for your own damn floor! You seen it lately?! [He waves an arm animatedly at the parts of the walls and floor currently splattered with the remnants of cake, which is to say he waves at the walls and floor. Just don't point out whose fault that is...]

[elementofloyalty]

Well maybe instead of cleaning my window you could clean up the cake, since you can do it a lot faster and easier than I could!

[Does that count? It also ought to show just what kind of a mood she's in, that she would claim he can anything faster and easier!]

Now where do you keep your fabric softener!?

[rewritethis]

[Sadly, he's not going to pick up on her mood because he's too busy seething. This isn't fair, dammit... And he doesn't sound like that...]

Look, my clothes are fine! [A pile isn't a problem if it's not getting in the way of anything else, right?!] I know this is gonna be new to you, but try worrying about something that matters!

[Also, since she hasn't dragged him away from the window again yet: clap.]

[elementofloyalty]

Something that matters, huh? All right! I'll wash your clothes AND put away all those books you leave lying around! Because I know how much books MATTER to you!

[Oh, a CLAP is it!? Fine! Rainbow zooms off! By the time the dirt finishes removing itself from the window, he might be able to see her pushing a nice, fat, grey cloud across the sky. (How else would she wash his clothes, after all?)]

[rewritethis]

What?! That's not what I...!

[Nope, she's already gone. He takes his hands away from the glass the instant the reaction finishes, already prepared to chase after her, but before he turns away he happens to spot - oh, for crying out loud. Never mind sliding, he practically flings the window open to poke his head out of it.]

Dash, lay one damn hoof on those books and I'll stick 'em in your eye!