someone left a cake in the rain

[rewritethis]

[BANG. BANG.]

Dash! Dash!! Open up!

[Doorknocking this violent isn't an uncommon occurrence around this particular dorm, especially accompanied by that voice. What might be a bit more notable is that the sound actually seems to be coming from somewhere close to the floor. Yes, closer than usual. In fact, knocking probably isn't the right word...]

Comments

[elementofloyalty]

[...Darn it, Ed, stop doing cool things in the middle of the argument. It's distracting.]

Oh, so you admit that you have absolutely no friends at all who would ever do anything nice for you.

[rewritethis]

[And tiny concentrated rainclouds right outside someone's window when they're trying to nap work aren't??]

What the hell are you saying now?!

[elementofloyalty]

[oh gosh did he really think those were cool]

I'm saying YOU're saying that NO ONE, not ANYONE YOU KNOW, would try to bring you a cake or something! Because you yell and shout all the time so OBVIOUSLY no one else likes you!

[rewritethis]

[...a little... if they weren't so damn loud.

All set to continue yelling at her until his lungs give out, he angrily inhales - which provides a lengthy enough break from said ranting for him to pick up on that blatant hint just then. And that, in turn, trips him up long enough for the rest of his brain to catch up with the conversation so far.]

...You what? [He's dialled down the volume, but he still sounds distinctly disbelieving, if his raised eyebrow didn't give that away.]

[elementofloyalty]

WHAT did I what!?

[See, she might have been yelling without exactly thinking about the words coming out of her mouth, so she herself has neither calmed down, nor is she taking this latest question charitably. She's convinced it's a trick.]

[rewritethis]

So it was your cake! What's the big idea?

[This is obviously the most important detail he just deduced.]

[elementofloyalty]

It WASN'T MY CAKE! Maybe someone put it out there as a PRANK after I put the cloud up there because they knew you'd blame ME!

[She can only bristle furiously for so long without greater impetus than this, so her hackles are slowly coming down. Slowly.]

Why in Celestia's name would I go to all this effort for a really lame prank?

[rewritethis]

How the hell would I know why you're so into pranks? [He may not quite be at full volume, but he can still bristle! He can bristle forever.] The least you could've done was ask!

[elementofloyalty]

I LIKE pranking people, it's funny. This isn't funny. It just upset you. That's how you should know it wasn't ME.

Or Pinkie Pie.

[rewritethis]

[so it turns out he actually is Fluttershy, huh]

Well... [He relents a little, but his hackles still aren't all the way down.] Quit beating around the bush! I know the rain was yours!

[elementofloyalty]

[Half Fluttershy, half Applejack. Ed's new title is the Flutterjack Alchemist, okay?]

Yeah, because your window was filthy! I put the cloud there to wash it clean!

[rewritethis]

Okay, but... [He rallies.] But how'd you know I wasn't gonna get around to it? Maybe I was just busy!

[elementofloyalty]

[She lifts herself up a little, pointedly staring down at him, then very deliberately raises her forelegs, claps her hooves together, then thrusts them at nothing. How busy does he have to be to not have time to do THAT?!]

[rewritethis]

[He's winding down only to the extent that he's rapidly running out of ways to spin this.

He spreads his arms.] You could've asked! That's all I'm saying!

[elementofloyalty]

[Except that he's only gotten HER cranked up more. Cranked up to an unusual level...]

Oh yeah, and we both know how that would go.

[She turns sideways and looks at nothing with as bright, wide-eyed and eager an expression as he's ever seen on her.]

"Hey Ed, can I do something nice for you?"

[She zooms around to take the position of the Ed she had been addressing a moment ago, scowling and waving her hooves vaguely as she rolls her eyes.]

"No, Rainbow, you'd do it through non-SCIENTIFIC means and blah blah alchemy and also I have a complex about people being my friend and doing things for me blah blah I'm super-independent also alchemy."

[rewritethis]

[Oh, she did not go there!

He's not tall enough to descend on her like the wrath of an angry agnostic god, but his expression compensates for an appreciable fraction of that as he lunges at her shoulders. Not that he has any idea what he'll do if by some minute chance he does manage to grab them; it's the principle of the thing. Specifically, the principle of... well, she knows.]

DAMMIT, THAT'S NOT WHAT I SOUND LIKE!!

[...he isn't contesting the content...]

[elementofloyalty]

[Sure, he can grab her! He can even haul her down! She's perfectly willing to ram her forehead into his and glare at him with the fury of a thousand angry suns.]

YES IT IS! Look how mad you are because I did something NICE FOR YOU WITHOUT ASKING!

[rewritethis]

[That... kind of hurt a bit, but he's far too thickheaded to so much as flinch away.]

Listen, I know how to clean a damn window!

[elementofloyalty]

I didn't SAY you didn't! I was doing it FOR you so you didn't HAVE to!

[rewritethis]

[He lets her shoulders go and steps back, but only so he has room to wave a metal pointer finger semi-threateningly in front of her eyes.] Yeah, well, you didn't have to! I said I would've gotten around to it!

[Actually, by this point, the only part he's still genuinely sore about is her impression... but she headbutted him, which clearly means it's on.]

[elementofloyalty]

I KNOW I DIDN'T HAVE TO! It's OKAY for people to do things for you out of the kindness of their heart sometimes!

[He'd grabbed her and hauled her around! He started it!]

[rewritethis]

[...she could've got out of the way!!

He looks as if he'd like to scream at her some more, but just for the time being, nothing tumbles out except a splutter.

Instead, grumpily, he shoves past her, trampling more fragments of damp cake into her floor as he heads in the direction of her window.]

[elementofloyalty]

[Rainbow Dash slaps a hoof to her face.]

Oh sweet Celestia, you're going to clean my window in the name of equivalent exchange, aren't you.

[rewritethis]

[If he sounds a little indistinct, that's because he has his back to her while he sizes up the window in question. It's not nearly as grimy as his was...]

Hey, if you didn't like it, guess what you should've done?!

[Presumably not what he's doing, which involves clapping. Followed by other noises.]

[elementofloyalty]

OH NO YOU DON'T!

[No soon does Ed make with the clapping then Rainbow dives at him to literally haul him backwards through brute wingpower!]

You're... not... cleaning... this... window!